126 Stones+twenty men + 1 woman = fun-filled afternoon

126 stones, twenty men and one woman may not sound like a fun-filled
family afternoon in some parts of the world, but in Franklin, PA it
simply meant it was time for the annual state stone skipping
tournament. Competitors from as far away as The Great White North,
New York City, California, Kansas, and Michigan (including former
World Record Holder John “Skippy” Kolar) assembled to take on local
favorites: current and former Guinness World Record Holders Russ “Rock
Bottom” Byars and Kurt “Mountain Man” Steiner, the only men to have
won the championship since its debut in 2000 (with Byars up 5-4).

Adding to this year’s festivities were Emmy Award-winning CBS news
correspondent and American pop culture devotee, Bill Geist who was in town to interview Byars for an upcoming Sunday Morning piece. ESPN,
documentary filmmakers, and Eric “The Voice” Steiner were also on hand
to record and report on the day’s action. The excitement was palpable
while the Allegheny remained favorably calm and fully prepared to take
on all skippers.

Col. Edwin Drake, who was in town to represent the 150th anniversary of the oil industry, kicked off the day with a ceremonial skip. The field of
pros were prepared to make their own bit of history as the round robin
casts got underway.

After two rounds, Mark Elwell of Erie made his mark with a
tournament lead of 30. Perhaps inspired by Lake Erie legend Oliver
Hazard Perry, Elwell put forth an even more impressive third round of 33 skips, showing he was by no means prepared to “Give up the ’skip’”.

“Canadian” Drew soon took things to another level with a 34 that
elicited thunderous applause from an already captivated crowd. “Rock
Bottom” Byars, the reigning state and national champion, would soon
scale all Canadian obstacles.

A relatively sleeping giant through four rounds, Byars was ready to
unleash some trademark speed & spin with his fifth cast of the day.
Sporting his now customary “SKIPS STONES FOR FUDGE” t-shirt, his
stunning 39 had fudge written all over it as the locals gave him a
hearty standing ovation. A sixth round 35 gave the World
Record Holder the only back-to-back 30+ tosses of the day. His 156
total skips would top all chukkers. The excitement had only begun.

Allister Cooper, representing Scotland via California “with a
stop-over in Vegas”, made his way to Franklin after a personal
invite from 5-time national champ Byars. He soon established himself as a
fan favorite with his kilt attire and “rock star” persona. After the
audience helped him choose his final stone of the day, the
2009 national amateur champ made the masses feel even more
engaged as he launched a seemingly endless 38. His box of
fudge would be secure.

Bill Geist, playing the Stone Lion role of participant/reporter for
CBS made his jovial presence felt even as he concentrated on besting
his amateur level prowess from earlier in the day. Geist’s acceptance
of a stone from Byars during the sixth round brought about a moment of
uncertainty, but concluded with the judges’ sage decision that, “Any
time someone helps someone else – that is America!” The growing
gallery of bystanders clapped their approval and play continued
unabated. Verbal exchanges with color commentator Eric Steiner had
the spectators laughing as the tournament progressed

Another Steiner, Kurt “The Mountain Man”, may have had the
best toss of the day, but it was unfortunately his 7th and was
unable to be officially counted. The “cleared bucket” syndrome was
immediately evident as participants often showed marked improvement
once the stress of competition was lifted. Tension still remained
though as the final round of throws skimmed their way across the
river.

The weather was perfect, but a mid-western cyclone soon made
his away across the horizon of obscurity. Like a sudden Kansas
tornado, Wichita native and current Penn U. med student, Grant
Mitchell dissected the mighty Allegheny. His final effort became the
first stone in tournament history to cross the 40 barrier. A last
minute, mad dash drive across the Keystone State earlier in the
morning paid off as Mitchell’s formidable 42 gave him a 2010 ticket to
Mackinac Island, MI where he and Byars will have another chance to
make history.

The competition was inspirational, but not as much as the camaraderie
displayed by the unique group of sportsmen (and woman, Dr. Carolyn
Easter) who came to compete. There is little wonder why some would
travel countless hours to throw stones across water. The skips may be
closely counted, but other things are immeasurable. As the day’s
final ceremony and group pictures were taken, the competitors already
began looking forward to next year. The Allegheny, the crowds and the
fudge will be waiting.

- Tom ‘The Professor” Mayrant

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